The Ground Of Intense Cold Under The Pole Star

A few months back, I was a stalwart daily checker of Gone Clubbing RSS feed hoping to find a new post from Jonas. I have no idea who he is, neither him nor any of his usual commentators. I found his blog god knows how? I just know that he is from Vaasa where I spent a year "studying" (the studying must be quoted by respect for real students). Vaasa is a rather small city. Probably half of Reykjavik which dramatically amplify the small town effect: Everybody knows everybody. Therefore, everything I read from him sounded familiar. Jonas is a 27 years old bloke that goes out probably as often as the average hardc0re Vaasa clubber. However, He had the gorgeous idea to report all is night out in a Blogger ©. That might sound classic, but believe me his blog is absolutely hilarious. I spent hours laughing alone in front of my screen… Freak? It is really well written but the power of his texts reside in the freshness, the roughness and the precise truth of his stories. He writes in heat what he thinks. So I find it funny to share a pinch of his masterpiece in here, with the followed comments probably as excellent as the rest. Enjoy

Damn shame

Warning The following blog contains material that some women may find offensive. I say: fuck it.

I’ve just about had it with women. The constant bitching about every minute little detail and critisising of everything and everyone and their brother. I’m seriously considering just quitting alltogether and spending my weekends at home playing guitar. You know how you come home from a particularly sucky evening at the clubs and you turn on mtv and whack it to the Sugababes or something and everything is allright with the world again?

Yesterday even that didn’t work. So what brought this on? Lately I have started wondering if women really know so much about female behaviour as they would like us men to believe. The incident I cannot get out of my mind is one at Åland this summer, when a chick with big …ummm..eyes came over and talked to us while we were sitting on the lawn outside Rockoff. The women of our group claimed that the chick was interested in Martin but later on she said she had a boyfriend and refused to give martin a kiss because of it (as thanks for the drink and smokes she’d got). In my experience, chicks who have boyfriends and are looking for a little action will NOT mention any boyfriends and they will certainly have no problem with giving some guy a kiss.

The second incident. We were at Fontana a few weeks ago. I was standing at the bar getting a drink when I notice Kia dragging Martin over to a cute blond and her friend. They exchanged a few words and then went their seperate ways. Supposedly, Kia had gone over there and told the blond chick that Martin thought she was cute. I may not be the best at picking up chicks but that has got to be one of the most lame-ass attempts at picking someone up ever. Remember the blond chick I went gah-gah over in the spring sometime? Back then she was a 10 in my book, or at the very least a strong 9.5. I saw her again last weekend, after not seeing her all summer. It seems that she’s gained quiet a bit of weight and she has this weird huge hairdo like something from an 80’s Poison video. She used to be a ten but since she’s stuffed her face with burgers she has now dropped to an 8+. Extremely unfortunate.

Martin said…

Errr… regarding the incident on Åland, I’m pretty sure the girl with the big titties got sulky, ‘cos I didn’t pay her any attention. Or at least, I payed that other drunk chick more attention. She did offer to pay for the smokes, and at first didn’t want any booze. It was only after I started talking to that other girl, that she asked me if she could have the drink anyways, that I had poured for her earlier.
And regarding that thing at Fontana… Kia asked me all the time if I thought women in the club looked good. And when she pointed out the girl at the bar, I just said "sure". Kia said I should talk to her, but I wasn’t really up for it, so she just dragged me there and asked if the girl spoke Swedish, which she didn’t, and that was it.

Jonas said…

The åland chick; I still say it’s pretty odd. IF she indeed was interested, what was she to gain by refusing to kiss you? If a girl with a boyfriend wants a little action she will not play hard to get (because she hasn’t got time). She had nothing to gain and everything to lose by doing that.
If a chick sees that a guy has lots of chicks hanging around him he automatically becomes more attractive. Chicks are competitive. I think we can all agree that those two statements pretty much hold water. Taking those two facts into consideration; at the very moment you asked for a kiss she had a golden opportunity to crush the opposition in one swift move. She didn’t take that chance.
And to that chick at Fontana. What Kia did was what we “in the business” refer to as a “cold approach”, i.e no eye contact or any signs whatsoever that the chick was interested. Correct? Anyone who’s been “in the field” for any amount of time knows that such approaches rarely amount to anything.Anyone can do random cold approaches.
Anyone can play a numbers game. If you approach enough chicks someone is bound to say yes eventually. My point is; if women are more in tune with what other women want/feel/etc they wouldn’t have to resort to such. If Kia, as a woman, does have such great knowledge, why did she use a technique so embarrasingly common to MEN?

Martin said…

Well… I still believe she nobbed me ‘cos I was ignoring her earlier. What Kia did at the club though, I have to agree with you, was totally stupid. Anyone with a bit of brains know that such an approach is about as effective as sitting at home playing video games. Maybe less effective since you’re bound to make a fool of yourself too. I think women don’t know much about other womens feelings/goals/intentions because they don’t have to play any games to get guys. They just have to sit and look pretty, or dance, and men will come up to them automatically.
How ugly women fall into the picture though, is a bit harder to understand. Usually fat/ugly bitches has the most retarded pick up "ticks" you’ve seen. They’re on the same level as men first going to a club. They can be very pushy and straight forward, which I think is a bit scary, and makes me understand (good looking) womens reactions more ;)
It’s tougher for men though. Forget all that Hollywood bullshit you’ve seen on TV. Be the nice guy and get chicks - anyone with a bit of real life experience knows that this is just BS propaganda. Men has to read the club well if they want to score often. It takes years of practice to learn to see which women are potential fucks. Of course women will have a hard time reading other women, when we’ve been trying to do it for years and are still only scratching the surface ;)
Oh, and Kia falls under the category of women that don’t have to do anything to get a guy - so mystery solved :P

Jonas said…

“…Usually fat/ugly bitches has the most retarded pick up "ticks" you’ve seen…” They sure do. On many levels, I think they are even worse than guys.“…
Oh, and Kia falls under the category of women that don’t have to do anything to get a guy…” A-fuckin’-men to that! I was out last Wednesday and happened to run into her and her posse at Hullu pullo (your sister was there too by the way) and let me tell ya, men flocked to them like hyenas to a dead cow.